Category Archives: social-media

Aasof: “You know how to whistle don’t you?”


This week on Facebook: My post last Sunday brought home the fact that I belong to the Pinocchio generation, that of the Walt Disney era but including Sabu and long before Disney’s Jungle Book. I now realised why my mum took me to the pictures so much during WWII, but that’s an anecdote for another time. Lauren Bacall belonged to my mum’s generation and the memories of the films she took me to see live on my mind. Excerpts from the films may be enhanced by references in the social media, but I now belong to a generation whose memories increasingly have little in common with my children and nothing in common with my grandchildren.

Why coming to see death’s naturalness should have caused belief in an afterlife to melt away, I am unsure, but it did. Diana Athill¹

Born in May 1939, on becoming an octogenarian I thought it an appropriate time on Facebook to at least mention the inevitability my demise. I know that some of you have already passed the octogenarian milestone — as had my mother-in-law, whom I told a story about in 2016 (encounter with the dying). I trust that demise never become millstone, like a dead albatross hung around the neck².

The following video by Peter Saul talking about dying was really enlightening and had a profoundly serious effect on my approach to the subject, increasingly so in my attitude towards others. Among the many articles that I found ‘Talking about death and dying’³ seems an appropriate adjunct to Peter Saul’s talk.

In the event that you became too sick to speak for yourself!
Who would you like to speak for you?

Peter Saul


1. “Memento more.” It’s time we reinvented death: (2012) As if we needed any reminder. While few of us know exactly when death will come, we all know that eventually it will. It’s usual to talk about death overshadowing life, and the passing of loved ones certainly casts a pall over the lives of those who remain behind. But contemplating our own deaths is one of the most powerful forces in our lives for both good and ill driving us to nurture relationships, become entrenched in our beliefs, and construct Ozymandian follies.

2. What Good Is Thinking About Death? (2015) But we’re not always actively thinking about it. When people are reminded of death, they employ a variety of strategies to cope—not all of which are as well-adjusted as Stoic gratitude. That many kinds of human behaviour stem from a fear of death is the basis of one of the most prominent theories in modern social psychology—terror-management theory.

3. What It’s Like to Learn You’re Going to Die: (2017) The shock of confronting your own mortality need not happen at that instant, Coyle notes. Maybe you look at yourself in the mirror and suddenly realize how skinny you are, or notice your clothes no longer fit well. “It’s not necessarily verbal; it’s not necessarily what other people are telling you,” Coyle says. “Your soul may be telling you, or other people’s eyes may be telling you.”

4. How to Recognise When Your Loved One Is Dying: (2018) Death is a personal journey which each individual approaches in their own unique way. Nothing is concrete, and nothing is set in stone. There are many paths one can take on this journey but all lead to the same destination. What happens in the journey of dying, beginning one to three months prior to death, during the last two weeks before death, and during the last few days of life? In this continuum, how can you know when your loved one is dying?

5. Let’s talk about the art of living and dying well: (2019) In a society that struggles to view any death as “good”, it is also an unmistakeable opportunity to share what at least constitutes a better death. Acceptance is foremost. Some of my most remarkable patients have accepted early that they have not been singled out by misfortune, that suffering in different shapes is the course of humanity.


Referenced Articles Books & Definitions:

  • A bold text subscript above and preceding a title below (¹·²·³), refers to a book, pdf, podcast, video, slide show and a download that is usually free.
  • Brackets containing a number e.g. (1) reference a particular article (1-5).
  • Links reference a source and where necessary, those words that include a link in italics are intended to indicate its context.
  • A long read url* is followed by a superscript asterisk.
  • Occasionally Open University (OU) free courses are cited.
  • JSTOR lets you set up a free account allowing you to have 6 (interchangeable) books stored that you can read online.

¹It’s silly to be frightened of being dead (url*): Death is the inevitable end of an individual object’s existence – I don’t say “end of life” because it is a part of life. Everything begins, develops – if animal or vegetable, breeds – then fades away: everything, not just humans, animals, plants, but things which seem to us eternal, such as rocks. Mountains wear down from jagged peaks to flatness. Even planets decay. That natural process is death. Killing is the obscene intervention of violence, the violation which prevents a human being or any other animal from reaching death as it should be reached. Killing certainly did affect the minds of those exposed to the first world war. It shocked most of them into silence: many of the men who survived fighting in it never spoke of it, and I think it had the same effect on most of those the men returned to. It was too dreadful. They shut down on it.

²An introduction to death, dying and grief (url/OU Free Course): Explore interesting and challenging ideas around death, dying and grief. This free course, An introduction to death, dying and grief, invites you to think more deeply about death and dying and encourages you to think about it in different ways. This course will introduce you to different perspectives on death; ethical issues related to dying and end-of-life care; as well as expressions of grief. Please note that this course includes video about people talking personally about their experiences in relation to death and dying. If you have been affected by the issues in these videos, there are resources included in the course for further information and support.

³Talking about death and dying (url): It’s not always easy to know how to talk about dying. Awkwardness, embarrassment and fear means we tend to shy away from connecting with those who are dying or those who are grieving. But when we don’t talk about what matters it can increase feelings of isolation, loneliness and distress.

 

A Reprise for Sunday


This Sunday on Facebook: I offer a reprise from July 2018 as a link to next week posts in which there is a repeat of 2 songs. Those who may be fans of The Great American  Songbook like me (greatly influenced by my mother), may enjoy this Sunday’s reprise. I assure you that although next week’s offering also includes 5 (posted) videos, they are different, as is the theme of my post.

The following are extracts taken from my July 2018 of Aasof on The Great American Songbook and are about my 2 repeats next week, although both are by different artists and intended to add to my question next week: Are Lyricists Poets?

Unlike the instrumental piece composed by Lionel Hampton and Sonny Burke in 1947 with lyrics added in 1954 by Johnny Mercer. Midnight Sun became famous as a jazz standard and is certainly (currently) one of my favourites.

Begin The Beguine was written by Cole Porter for the Broadway show Jubilee  in 1935. Begin The Beguine has a set of lyrics that are hard to remember and a melody that is difficult to forget (at least the opening bars). It’s interesting that it was Artie Shaw’s instrumental version that was a big hit in 1938.

A Golden Shield and A Great Cannon


This week on Facebook: In researching ‘internet censorship’ the question of ‘control‘ is a word frequently used but I’m not convinced that it is correct. Control of the internet is simply the means to an end and it is the regulations a State applies to internet use that determines its use. In other words State control, through regulations backed by the law that the State applies as ‘rules’ to its use¹. Read more of this post

The Rule of Law, Remorse, Shamima Begum


This week on Facebook: Last year I posted ‘A law to cure!‘. The question that we continually seem face and perhaps should address is the need for new laws and changes to old ones. The English resort to the magna-carta as a source of their rights in Common Law and in response I posted Magna Carta: No longer law.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Oscar Wilde

Read more of this post

Compassion, Gershwin, & a quiz


24/2/2019 — Sunday on Facebook: I have been trying to write a post about compassion fatigue for some time now. The compassion fatigue I want to write about is not that experienced in the so-called helping professions who know as much about the limits of empathy as they do about its merits. Studies of oncology nurses, trauma workers and even marriage counsellors, among others, have documented a common “compassion fatigue” that seems directly related to the amount of emotion shared. What I wanted to write about is the compassion fatigue that we all experience when reports in the media makes us become compassionately numb. Read more of this post

Cassandra on Money & Debt


Read more of this post

Books & my (occasional) anecdote


This week on Facebook: It’s Christmas week —

A Very Happy Christmas

to You All

And

My Best Wishes For The New Year

Read more of this post

Anecdotes & other things


This week on Facebook: Some of these are also stories but some are anecdotal, the first is one is a records my reactions (and thoughts) to true happenings. The second is a review, written as a literary  response and which is still recording a high number of ‘reads’ on my posts (perhaps it was the reference to Swinburne) . The third was an interesting search project, whereby I added fictional characterisations to true events used to embellish my original story Marrano. The last two are ‘anecdotal’ about my life (well: sort of). Read more of this post

Yet more A. P. Herbert!


This week on Facebook: I have loved reading A. P. Herbert’s parodies of the law in Misleading Cases. Having followed the legal escapades of Albert Haddock on television, although the series was not entirely true to the storyline. However, my favourite A. P. Herbert character from the books is Sir Ethelred Rutt, used last week as the model for the protagonist in my story ‘Men in Black’. Herbert didn’t always use the same characters in his stories and I’m sure that he would disparage the world in which we now live. In the last story, I’m sure that the abilities involved in the letters that Mr Sleep wrote are now superseded by in the inabilities of those writing ubiquitous emails. Read more of this post

Short Stories


This week on Facebook: I have decided to have a lazy December, which turned out to be not as lazy as I had assumed. Nevertheless: December 2018 is going to feature reprises from Aasof’s Reflections beginning with some short stories that I have enjoyed writing. Clearly my first love is web research and I have enjoyed writing and researching material for all of my short stories. The following (in chronological order) are a selection of those that I enjoyed writing and researching the most.


Read more of this post

Martin Widlake's Yet Another Oracle Blog

Oracle performance, Oracle statistics and VLDBs

The Land Is Ours

a Landrights campaign for Britain

The Bulletin

This site was created for members and friends of My Telegraph blog site, but anyone is welcome to comment, and thereafter apply to become an author.

TCWG Short Stories

Join our monthly competition and share story ideas...

The Real Economy

Blogs and stuff from Ed Conway

Public Law for Everyone

Professor Mark Elliott

Bleda

Am I my Brothers keeper?

Martin Widlake's Yet Another Oracle Blog

Oracle performance, Oracle statistics and VLDBs

The Land Is Ours

a Landrights campaign for Britain

The Bulletin

This site was created for members and friends of My Telegraph blog site, but anyone is welcome to comment, and thereafter apply to become an author.

TCWG Short Stories

Join our monthly competition and share story ideas...

The Real Economy

Blogs and stuff from Ed Conway

Public Law for Everyone

Professor Mark Elliott

Bleda

Am I my Brothers keeper?

%d bloggers like this: