2016 December Comments/Reviews/Thoughts


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Keep the Home Fires Burning. Written by colmore: A delightful Christmas story Colmore and a difficult one to present. Who was the central character? I think it was Santa Clause, although it could have been any of them as determined by the denouement. Here the story had a comforting end but it was an ending that brought a sense of realism into — what was to mind — a magical Christmas story.

John Thomson’s Christmas. Written by DantheMann [3]: A great story with a great twist Dan. I liked the introduction to it and the suggested relationship between Mrs Beatie and Bill Cummings as a counterpoint to following story line. John’s final decision completing the circle of the story and a forefather’s untold war experience.

Some Apprehension. Written by Capucin [5]: Sometimes my innate prejudices colour my ability to read a story objectively and your story was such a time David. I had to read it a number of times to appraise it before realising that any such prejudices also reflected on my assessing the quality of the story and the writing of it. The ending was — for me — quite unexpected and a reflection on how war creates its own prejudices. She wanted to remember him as he first was, before the bitterness had come, had poisoned him. But now she could not forgive him as she watched the other woman being proud of their men folk even in their widowhood.

The Journal. Written by Peter Barnett: Like Charles I was all at sea over a Christmas war theme until this story came to me.

A Tale of Forgiveness. Written by colmore: The implausible element in this story (at least to me) was the story being recounted as it was, to enquiries being made by the Ministry of Defence. The story of Fred and Rosie and incident in the trench was good enough to be presented on their own. ‘After a few minutes Harris the butler appeared and announced that there were two gentlemen, apparently from the Ministry of Defence, who wished to talk to Captain Edward’, appearing at the end could have made for a punchier finish and led to another story. I see scope for a number of stories arising out of this one Colmore.

Dearest Aileen Darling Johnny. Written by Lostinwords: A really hard one to comment on Lost, I understand about parts being redacted but does just making the redacted parts legible make a story if you have to explain what you have done. I’m not sure, I think that I would have liked to read of Johnny composing the redacted parts of the letter and seeing the  non redacted parts as Aileen did.

Men who Look After Women. Written by Expatangie: Another delightfully thought out story and very emotional Angie, with quite an unexpected ending. The formatting made it rather a difficult read with — for me — confusion over the paragraphing and where, at times, it began to read like a list. Especially the paragraph beginning Everything was different now

Christmas Eve. Written by Araminta: An interesting take on the effects of war Araminta — a story that left the reader wanting more. The baby will be old enough to go war in 1939, I wonder what influence a returning father could have had. I’m not sure if these war themed stories don’t all have a touch of irony in them.

Home for Christmas. Written by Americanmum: Another poignant story AM, perhaps a good example of flash fiction? World War 1 and its devastation in so few words. A happy ending would have been nice but the one you chose to end with completed the story.

The Village Pals. Written by Atiller [1]: Perhaps irony is not the right word for this Story Atiller (apart from the title). Those of us familiar with a regiment of Pals will perhaps read more into the story and certainly those of us who remember the time when their fathers were away at war will. This was a really interesting story and I’m glad that the butcher was not called ‘Jones’. Not sure about the final paragraph and young Sam’s demise it started me thinking about a protagonist, which up until this point I had assumed was collectively the village pals.


 

5 responses to “2016 December Comments/Reviews/Thoughts

  1. Araminta January 16, 2017 at 16:55

    Many thanks for your thoughts on my story, Peter. Yes, Christmas interfered with the story writing so it was far too short.

    Interesting idea about the baby and the next war – may be able to use it at some time in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. AmericanMum January 15, 2017 at 16:41

    Thank you for taking the time to record your thoughts, and also for your kind words. I did not, in fact, choose the end of the story as it is based on real people. Wilfred is the poet Wilfred Owens whose war poetry is visceral, intense, and informs my personal understanding of that war.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Peter January 16, 2017 at 06:46

      I failed to make the connection with Wilfred Owen AM and wasn’t aware of the associated family names that you included in your story. Had I done so the story would have taken on a completely different tenor.

      Like

  3. davidgoodwin935 January 15, 2017 at 13:45

    Hello Peter, thank you for your review. I always felt that many poor souls were shot as cowards when in fact they were severely traumatised having been ripped, perhaps almost blackmailed into showing patriotic fervour, from quiet unworldly occupations. The reality of the frontline was to much to cope with. But, undoubtedly there were men who let down their comrades when they most needed help. Thus I chose to write about the latter.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. expatangie January 15, 2017 at 11:38

    Thank you for your kind and thoughtful reviews which are always a pleasure to read and bring even more life to the stories. Thank you for your comments on my story. I don’t know if it happens to you and other members of the group but while thinking about my story the voice of the narrator changes without me realizing. I started off wanting to write from my grandfther’s point of view, then it became my grandmother and then my uncle who actually wasn’t born until 1913 so the story ended up being pure fiction but from the point of view of how I imagine my uncle was as a little boy.
    Thank you Peter for your comments.

    Liked by 1 person

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The Bulletin

This site was created for members and friends of My Telegraph blog site, but anyone is welcome to comment, and thereafter apply to become an author.

TCWG Short Stories

Join our monthly competition and share story ideas...

The Real Economy

Hello, I’m Ed Conway, Economics Editor of Sky News, and this is my website. Blogposts, stuff about my books and a little bit of music

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Professor Mark Elliott

Bleda

Am I my Brothers keeper?

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Selected by other writers

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