2016 March — Comments/Reviews/Thoughts


The topic for the stories was set by FIZZEERASCAL, who chose the topic Cluedo, incorporating one or more of the characters into a story of any genre. Miss Scarlet, Professor Plum, Mrs Peacock, the Reverend Green, Colonel Mustard, & Mrs White.etc.

fallenwomen01Miss Scarlet is portrayed as a scarlet woman, which brought to mind Scarlett O’Hara (incidentally — Rhett doesn’t say, Quite frankly Scarlett I don’t give a damn’). My wife told me that Vivien Leigh, playing Scarlett O’Hara, was a scarlet woman or femme fatale. I took this to mean someone like Mrs Smith who lived down our street when I was a child and was described — always in hushed tones — as a fallen woman but the adults never said what she fell off. I read an article which used the the terms femme fatale and fallen woman, but it didn’t mention Mrs Smith.

Mrs-White

This month’s stories indicate an age thing as we must have all played the original game with  the characters of Miss Scarlet, Professor Plum, Mrs Peacock, Colonel Mustard, the Reverend Green and, of course, Mrs White.

The stories this month made me very empathetic towards for poor Mrs White, portrayed as a rather an overweight domestic servant and no spring chicken. I decided to look for better portrayal of her and found one of a rather chic woman — nice frock, pity about the knife, although that’s not blood on it. Chopped parsley perhaps? Does anyone else remember Lorena Bobbit?

  1. Marie And Hugo. Written by Expatangie. I really liked this story Angie, it was atmospheric and included the Cluedo characters in a most natural way. I thought that you were rather coy about the implicit sexual sub plot between Marie and Hugo — Marie stroked his thigh… . The thunder eventually became a cliché that sometimes prevented its working  — I thought the thunder an essential element in building up of the atmosphere and not simply a word implying such. Marie grasping a candlestick to relieve her tension was a weak contrivance that needed changing.
  2. Leonie Scarlet. Written by Capucin [5]. This story was my favourite, the characterisation of Leonie was really well done and I never knew, even if I suspected, in which direction the plot was heading. The shootings were a clever twist and I didn’t think that denouement was that inevitable (immediately made me think of la femme Nikita).
  3. Waiting For Doctor Black. Written by Lostinwords [1]. There were a number of stories that could have been my third choice Lost as (without intending to detract from yours) — the Cluedo theme produced so many gems. However, I was touched by the empathetic approach to a very difficult situation, especially one written from the perspective of the patient. The understanding of what such suffering entails was skilfully and realistically dealt with. For me — a very emotional story, one in which the Cluedo characters names were hardly noticed.
  4. Mrs. White with a …. . Written by Americanmum. What a clever story AM — not Jumanji (yet?)! I’ve never given any thought to Cluedo characters having no first names and now I feel a need to know —  I remember before the darkness closes in why I don’t have a first name. However, my research into giving first names to the original Cluedo characters failed to lead anywhere — although this site was quite interesting.          Give me clue AM.
  5. Love And Death At St. Cluedo’s. Written by Giselle. I read this as a parody on the board game Giselle and a clear contender. I did hesitate a bit over the need you felt to include the skills of the various teaching staff, or perhaps it was simply the way in which you did it. It was a fun story that came across as such (you should write a film script).
  6. No, That’s Not A Swiss Roll! Written by Charles Stuart [3]. Each time I read this story Charles I giggle, I find it really funny. The scenario presented of a first year student group in a tutorial being confronted by a demented Mrs White bludgeoning Professor Plum to death is pure black comedy. You could have connected  Van der Waals forces with he student’s study subject (or left it out of the story), I thought that they may be studying criminology but that would have been Van de Valk. The court case and the ending added to the humour of the story
  7. My First Day At Grammar School. Written by Gazoopi. I thought that this was a good storyline spoilt — largely — by the attempt to build in Cluedo characters, which made it unbelievable. I also thought that it was semi autobiographical (but perhaps not?). The dialogue between Jim and Sue was also came across as being somewhat contrived.
  8. Cludon Abbey. Written by Chester Goode. I really liked the script Chester especially, … but then he were always too busy tryin’ to … well … you know … . It was good to meet Jazz McCool again, though I would have liked a better solution. Perhaps Jazz could have found a flyer somewhere that had been missed.
  9. An Elegant Knot. Written by Seadams. This was a really clever and readable story Seadams . The line, There’s a noose loose aboot this house, was really amusing as was the portrayal of the Cluedo characters (old Keen-as). Unsure about the ending — wondering if Professor Plum and the rope was a common occurrence or if he really was looking to end his life while he had the faculties to do so. It seems that he was was already beyond that point and if they were to fully return the story may take a rather macabre turn, which poor Mrs White may regret (if it was actually a rope and not a tie).
  10. “I Have Some Tv Work For You.” Written by Bleda. I wonder how many people the allusions will resonate with Bleda — the price is right, come on down!’  I couldn’t place allusions to most of the names that I didn’t recognise , although Will Painter immediately brought Alan Sillitoe’s William Posters to mind. It was quite trip down memory lane, full of humour, quite how auto-biographical in parts I’m not really sure — I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of Dr Black. Lovely story!
  11. Clueless. Written by Rosiedee. Fag-Ash Lil is a term that I use a lot Rosie, having decided to source its origins I found them always disputed. The images of a characters portrayed was alway shattered by the withering thoughts of another: Scarlet — What a prize plonker he looks. Mustard — Bloody bossy cow. The interactions between the characters was cleverly done as were your allusions to their self image. However, the story became increasingly convoluted with themes and sub plots that could be expanded on. Perhaps your intention is that the story is itself a game of Cluedo. If so, it requires more concentration than I could muster and rather than a short story of 3000 words could be a longer piece, a novel even.

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The Bulletin

This site was created for members and friends of My Telegraph blog site, but anyone is welcome to comment, and thereafter apply to become an author.

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Hello, I’m Ed Conway, Economics Editor of Sky News, and this is my website. Blogposts, stuff about my books and a little bit of music

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The Bulletin

This site was created for members and friends of My Telegraph blog site, but anyone is welcome to comment, and thereafter apply to become an author.

TCWG Short Stories

Join our monthly competition and share story ideas...

The Real Economy

Hello, I’m Ed Conway, Economics Editor of Sky News, and this is my website. Blogposts, stuff about my books and a little bit of music

Public Law for Everyone

Professor Mark Elliott

Bleda

Am I my Brothers keeper?

An Anthology of Short Stories

Selected by other writers

davidgoodwin935

The Short Stories of David Goodwin (Capucin)

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